Sweet Geekery

I still can’t sleep. I’m tired and all but I can’t fall asleep or close my eyes without seeing memories. Okay sure it was only two months but those were great two months.

Kinda wanna go eat everything at Denny’s but I wanna read but ugh Maybe I could do something nice for myself today to cheer me up. That doesn’t include food.

I don’t really feel like eating or sleeping. This’ll be an interesting next week, especially since I’m due for my period too. I think I’ll be spending most of the week laying in bed until I have to go to work

Well I guess I know my real feelings for him now.

I knew I felt a spark when we first went out. But now my heart just aches, like that lonely sad ache. That one.

How could I be so stupid! I always give the advice of speak your mind, whatever it is, just say it. But I never follow my own advice. I guess if I had told him how I really felt it would’ve been even harder to leave.

I haven’t done a ritual in a super long time, but Sam’s happiness is high on my list to motivate me. Call me selfish, call my a bitch, call me whatever you want, but I really care about him, and I still do and I honestly wish for his situation to become much more positive, so much so that I would pray. And I never pray. Ever. Not since I was a little girl in an after school religious school.

I feel like vomiting now. Cried so much on the phone. I kinda just wanna drink myself silly and act like everything is back to normal. But I know it’s not and it won’t be for a very long while.

I never did get to thank the goddess for completing my spell, it actually worked, one of the first I think. And now it’s all gone and I’m alone again. I just pray for his safety and well being, I want him to have a better life, with or without me

I guess its bed time since I got distracted unfriending and looking for one person on FB, which is fucking impossible cuz I still don’t know his last name!

But whatev, time for bed cuz I’m sore from that yoga today and I wanna play around with the bracelet tomorrow, plus work on my bag, and I can do it all since I’m off again tomorrow and its my second diet day. I’m tryin out a 5:2 diet thing, eat normally for five days of the week then diet any two days you wish. I’m just finding it kinda difficult not to eat a lot since I need to be consistent with around 500 calories those days, so I wound up actually looking through my diet cookbook I picked up and gonna make some of those meals, espacially the sweets and desserts! Oh please! My damn sweet tooth is what kills everything, i need ti have something sweet everyday, at least once or twice a day, something three!

I kinda wanna go to bed but then I also wanna keep working on my beach bag even though my wrist and fingers are starting to cramp and swell.

Then I always wanna try out a crochet beaded bracelet cuz it looks nice and simple enought to crank out a few in a day

kaciart:

rneerkat:

*new zealand police lays arm on your head* youre under a wrist

….